What had happened the previous weekend seemed almost like a dream, with only the lingering soreness in my hips attesting to the fact that it was real. Well, that and the texts from Snow. That certainly made it feel a lot more real. And the prospect of what was coming was also starting to feel almost frighteningly real. Dammit, what did I agree to? I can’t do this, can I? I shuddered a bit at the thought. Maybe I could do it. I could do it. I just had to relax. I had to get in the mood. To help with that, I decided to have a beer along with dinner, and another afterward. I grabbed a third as well, to help steady my nerves as I sat down at my computer and decided to see just how easy it would be to get in the mood. Long story short: Three beers in me made it pretty easy. It also made it pretty hard to resist texting Snow. The fourth beer made resistance impossible. I’m pretty sure that beer came about as an attempt to get myself to loosen up so I could try out my buttplug. That part. ”That’s too bad, because there really isn’t any “competition” in the romantic sense of the word. Not usually. There can be, but it’s rare. Even when partners married to others become so close that they do go to bed together, that doesn’t mean the same thing to them that it means when they go back home to the wife or hubby.It’s just different. If you’ve ever been “on the job,” then you understand that. The problem is, if you’ve never been in that life, you can’t understand it. Spouses don’t understand why you’d take a bullet for that person. Telling her you’d also take a bullet for her doesn’t mean anything, because she can’t believe anybody would ever want to hurt her in the first place. Spouses don’t understand why, during an undercover operation in which you pretended to be married, you acted married in bed - that you had to go to bed with your partner, because that was the only way to convince the bad guy that she really was your girlfriend, and that you weren’t an undercover cop..
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